A Knight's Tale

The Neurodivergent Knight. A modern story with a medieval twist. This is a character portrait of a man struggling with a brain that is different, a man trying to live his best life, but leaving destruction in his wake.

Hidden away within the walls of a cold and gloomy castle, he sits and reads for hours. To protect himself, he is armed with weapons, both physical and psychological. His prize possession is a sword with a hilt fashioned into a silver and gold three horned chameleon. His hands are small, but strong, and his fingers play constantly against the chameleon’s gold embossed reptile tail coiled around the sword’s guard.

The rings and trinkets of an ancient fraternity, now in decay, adorn his body. Their guiding principles of moral discipline and truth are stowed away on a shelf in his mind.

The Knight is alone, he has no friends, and feels no need of them.

In days gone by, the Knight had fought to protect his Queen and her subjects, fighting battles, securing riches, all the while sacrificing his health and strength in the process. He was her warrior and protector and remained a loyal and dutiful servant until she died.

When the Queen passed, the Knight felt his heart ripped from his chest, yet he shed not a single tear. Retreating to his castle, he battled daily - not with enemy infidels, but the thoughts and emotions raging through his mind and body. Controlling his ravaged mind made him odd, prickly, and demanding. His charm, wit and charisma were overshadowed by anger.

To feel alive, he needed rage. Old slights and resentments from years past were resurrected in his mind to provide the fuel for the wrath that burned within him. Over time his behaviour alienated the Queen’s subjects. The Knight had sacrificed everything for those he served, but he became a shadow in their lives, as they failed to appreciate or honour his valiant efforts.

The Knight’s mind often journeyed back through the decades to his halcyon days, where he was surrounded by love, youth, relevance, sunshine, and blue waters. Seeking escape from bleak reality, and the ever-present turbulence of his thoughts, he often mounted his steed and travelled to nearby towns, seeking distraction and hospitality at local inns.

Starved for love he took comfort in the arms of women. He had beguiled many, given the Knight exceled at seduction, but he struggled to truly love, for his heart was barren, shielded by impenetrable armour, and his mind was always in turmoil. Without purpose and unfit for true battle, his conquests were now limited to women.

Demons of insecurity haunted his waking hours, and his nights were filled with restless longing. His mind, constantly occupied by internal reveries, could never find stillness. Women, cigars, and whisky numbed his emotional pain. Anger raged within him, suppressed but powerful, ever ready to erupt at a perceived slight or provocation.

The Knight was constantly on guard against risks to his safety. A glance, a wayward comment, a gesture, a fleeting expression were all scrutinised for potential menace. He felt constantly under threat and despite all his weaponry and armour, he ran to survive.

Escaping back to his castle, he would raise the drawbridge, close the shutters, and lock out the world, the villains, and the people who tried to love him. In the solitude of his castle, he would feel a sense of peace … for a time.

In recent days, those who had tried to love the Knight had been cruelly discarded. Enslaved by the machinations of his mind, he lashed out at all those who cared.

The Knight’s armour had encased his heart. He couldn’t be vulnerable, couldn’t be soft, couldn’t truly love, nor allow himself to feel worthy of love.

Then came a woman who could see the real Knight, the Knight of old. Her gift of sight saw beneath the armour encasing his soul, saw his mind, the magnificence of his being, the love, the warmth, the honour, and true beauty of his spirit. Her open heart held the healing and the power to set him free. Knowing the risk involved, she offered him her heart.

The Knight took her heart and crushed it under the heel of his armour. Drawing his weapons of isolation and anger, he mounted his steed and continued his quest for love. A love constantly craved but forever elusive.

The End.